Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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