i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
