we made out on top of his cat.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
