I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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