So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
