I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
