the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
