69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
