Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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