nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
