im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize