She said her name was "party"
barbara walters just said penis...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
