Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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