I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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