If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't watch enough power rangers
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize