Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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