great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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