Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
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You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
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We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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