i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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