i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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