so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
