I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
