and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
