I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
