In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
