What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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