At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
