How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
