It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
