Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
