Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
