There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize