her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my sisters under your porch take her home
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
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