how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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