You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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