Cold hands, warm shart.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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