some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
