Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
