nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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