he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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