Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
