Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Church boner. Awkwardddd
should my penis look like a turkey
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
