We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
