She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
