How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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