I never want to see another naked old woman again.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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