Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
