K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
