turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
