it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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