Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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