and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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