So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
