i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
