the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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