I wish I could teleport
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
