You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
