I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Two words: nipple clamps
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