How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
