Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
