i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
