Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize