I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
