God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
