need another drink. this is the easiest way
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize