Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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