i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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