I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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