i permit you to call me
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
COCAINE IS GR8
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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